#YesAllWomen

By now, you've all heard about the murder of several women by a man tired of rejection.  You've seen the outcry, read the tweets and posts.  Women are bravely sharing their stories and demanding change.  Tonight, I am joining them.  

#YesAllWomen because the first time someone called me a "slut," I was 11 years old.

                            

#YesAllWomen because my first kiss was not magical--it was forced.

                            

#YesAllWomen because that was the first, but not the last, time that a boy did something to me without my consent.

#YesAllWomen because, as a teen, I thought that was normal.

#YesAllWomen because THIS should never happen.

#YesAllWomen because her story could have easily been my own, the night I went to a frat party and had too much to drink.  And people told me I was lucky that I hadn't been raped...like if I had, it would have been my own fault. 

#YesAllWomen because we deserve better than that.  

#YesAllWomen because my body is mine and mine alone. I do not "owe" anything to anyone.

#YesAllWomen because I'm raising 3, and I cannot protect them. 

Women around the world are abused, raped, and killed by men every day. Young girls are kidnapped and sold.   Here in the US, women are paid less than men to do the same job, and feminism is still a dirty word.  This needs to stop.  We are one-half of the population, yet we are still not considered equal to men.  The time for change is now.   

"Strong Women: May we know them.  May we raise them.  May we be them."

#YesAllWomen

It's Not Me, It's You.

Dear GEPN Year,

I'm breaking up with you.

The first few months of our relationship were intriguing, exciting, and intense.  Each morning I awoke, wondering what the day would bring.  I'd drive 100 miles just to be with you.  It almost didn't matter that I hadn't slept in days or that my kids didn't remember what I looked like. We were so in love.

Then we took some time apart over the holidays, and things changed between us.  I remembered what it was like to be with my family, to eat three solid meals, to do things "just for fun." Still, I was eager to get back together.

Despite how hard we've tried to make it work, the chemistry just isn't there anymore. When my alarm tells me it's time to get up and go be with you, I hit snooze and hope that the next time I open my eyes, you'll be gone. We don't get together as much as we used to, and I like it better this way.  I'm spending more time with other people, which is something you've never allowed before.  I'm rediscovering my freedom.  It feels fucking fantastic.  

I know we'll still see each other from time to time over the next couple months. (Isn't that how all breakups go?)  There will be days that we'll think we should try to work things out, and on other days, we'll hate each other.  But, little by little, we'll grow further and further apart until we no longer need one another.  And it will be for the best. 

It's (almost) over. When we finally part ways, I think I'll find someone who is more concerned with my interests and passions, someone with whom I can be myself.  And I know that you'll find someone new-- someone who will fall for you, the way that I did...at least for awhile. 

So, let's make the most of these final weeks together.  Cherish the good times, try to forget the bad, and keep moving forward.  

XOXO,
Meghan

P.S. Oh, and in case you were wondering? It's not me, it's you. 

To My Daughters

To My Sweet Girls,

I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry that I haven't been home and that, when I have, I've been tired and distracted. I'm sorry that I've had to say "no" when you've asked me to play with you because I've had to study.  I'm sorry that I haven't been the best mom I can be.  I will try to do better.  You deserve better.

This semester has been frustrating and unfulfilling.  It has seemed like a waste of time and energy to drive back and forth to New Haven when I could be with you instead.  But this thing I'm doing is a labor of love.  Just as I worked to bring you three into this world, I'm working to provide you--all of us--with a better life. I'm doing this because it's my passion, because I want to make a difference for women and babies, and because I want to show you what it means to be a strong woman and to pursue your dreams (no matter what).

Over the past weeks, I've been repeating the following mantra to myself: 

"I am grateful. I am strong. I am loved."

What I want you to know is this:

I am grateful for you and for your Daddy.  We are all healthy, happy, and though our life is often messy and chaotic, it is always beautiful if we look hard enough. I am grateful for Yale, the friends I've made here, and the opportunities an Ivy League education will afford us. I am grateful that for our extended family, your schools, and our nanny.  I could not do this without our support system.  Knowing you are loved and cared for when I'm away fills me with peace.

I am strong because of you.  Through carrying and birthing you, I learned my own strength. I will be forever grateful for this gift you've given me, and I hope that I can help you discover your own power as you grow into young women.

I am loved, and I love. Deeply and with abandon.  I can't imagine life without you, sweet babies, or without your Dad. It is true, what they say about love.  It's all you need, and we are rich in it.

So, though there are moments that I want to give up and times where you are probably frustrated with me...please know that we are so blessed, in so many ways.  Daddy and I could not be happier to be on this wild, crazy, challenging, silly, joy-filled journey of life with the three of you.  We are grateful. We are strong. We are loved. And we love you.
                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                   -Momma

New Goals for a New Year

Oh, hi. I'm still alive. I hope everyone had a very happy holiday season, and that you've all stocked up on wine...uh, I mean bread and milk...for the impending storm!

I was recently told by a friend that just because I go to Yale doesn't mean I can stop blogging.  I did intend to keep up with my writing during my first semester, if only to document my experience for myself, but that didn't happen, unfortunately.  My plan is to blog about the highlights of the past few months before the next semester begins, but for now I'd like to ease back into blogging with a quick post about my goals for 2014. And so, here they are:

1. Live in gratitude. Practice patience.  Look for joy in the little things, every day.

2. Learn to knit!

3. Do as well this semester as I did last semester (or better!).

4. Establish a regular date night with my husband.

5. Get back into a workout routine, not because I "should," but because I need to remember to take care of myself. 

6. Play with my kids as often as possible, and really LISTEN to them.  It's easy to get caught up in what "needs" to be done and forget that they will only be little for a short time. 

That's all for now, but hopefully this post will get the creative juices flowing again so I can get back on the blogging train. Stay tuned! :)