Raising Hell: Worth the Wait: Nola

My pregnancy with Nola was close to perfect. Aside from being very sick during the first trimester, I felt great. I loved my belly, her kicks, the anticipation of our first home birth...

Every morning, the girls would "play" with their sister (who we thought was a brother). They talked to my belly, poked her little feet, and sometimes pretended to check her heartrate. Every evening, I'd snuggle with them in their bed, and they'd put their hands on my growing belly as they drifted off to sleep.

I ate well, stayed active (I especially loved prenatal yoga with Kaeli Sutton at the Motion Center), received regular chiropractic care (thanks to the wonderful Kelly Frye), and got as much rest as you'd expect a mom of two little ones to get. Knowing that life would be busy after the baby arrived, we made a special effort to spend time as a family and do some fun things. Over the summer, we traveled to Ohio with my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, who was also pregnant, and nephews to visit Joel's grandmother and celebrate her 90th (!) birthday. We went camping in New Hampshire, hosted a Spanish exchange student for a few weeks, and celebrated our anniversary, Aislinn's 4th birthday, and my 24th birthday.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, my doula friends hosted a beautiful blessingway ceremony for me. They put flowers in my hair, concocted an herbal foot bath for me, read beautiful birth poems, and created a labor necklace with a bead from each of them. My dear friend, Lisa Gendron of Agroterra Birth, took pictures of that evening and then, a few weeks later, came to my home and did a maternity photo shoot. Jessica Fuss, my doula, came over one day just to rub my tired, sore feet, and Emily Howell, my "sister wife/soulmate" had my favorite chai mix shipped to me. I will never be able to express how beautiful and special these women, among others, made me feel during that time.

I enjoyed my pregnancy so much that I didn't want it to end. Apparently, Nola didn't either. As my due date came and went, I began to worry that my dream of a home water birth was going to remain just that--a dream. I was torn between wanting the baby to come when she was ready and wanting to avoid medical induction and hospital birth. Finally, at 41 weeks and 6 days, my labor began:

"On Friday, October 12^th, I woke up and discovered that I’d lost my mucus plug. I was feeling a little crampy and having some contractions, but they were so mild that Joel and I decided to bring the girls to school and head to the coffee shop for some time together before my labor really got going. On the way to school, I texted my birth team to let them know that I would need them later that day. Everyone was very excited (and relieved), since I was 41 weeks 6 days and facing the possibility of needing to move the place of birth to the hospital.

(Side note: Michelle, one of our midwives, had come to our house for my 42 week appointment the previous day. We’d discussed natural induction methods, she stripped my membranes, and she encouraged me to do the tiger exercise from Birthing From Within, which I did- that evening, to release any fears that could possibly be holding me back. She told me I should hold off on any induction attempts for another day or so because she had a feeling I was going to go into labor very soon.)

Once we were at the coffee shop, I began contracting every few minutes. They were regular and stronger than what I’d previously been feeling, so I texted Jess to give her the heads up, just in case things started to move quickly. She called and we chatted a bit about how exciting it was that it was finally happening, what the plan for the day should be, and so on. Joel and I picked the girls up from school and decided that we would bring them to my parents’ house so that we could go down to the beach for a little while.

It was a chilly day and the sky looked beautiful. We walked up and down the beach. I took pictures of the sky because I knew our baby was on her way and I wanted to remember what the day was like. I felt so at peace there, as I always do when I’m near the ocean. Had it been warmer, I would have gone for a swim. By this point, my contractions were few and far between. I think it was around this time that I told Joel my labor probably wouldn’t really start until 7:30pm, the time at which my other two labors had begun.

After a little while, I got tired of walking, so we went back to the car and drove around. I had one very strong contraction that took my breath away and reminded me of the hard work I was going to have to do. I told Joel that it was time to go back and get the girls ready for bed so that we could go home. I knew that if I wanted to have the baby, I needed privacy and I wanted Aislinn and Raia to be asleep before the real work began.

Sure enough, at 7:30, I started contracting every 3-4 minutes. They were very intense and I panicked a little. I kept telling my body to slow down; I wasn’t ready for this. I spoke with Kristina, Jess, and Lisa and told them that I was really in labor now but that I didn’t need them just yet. For some reason, Joel and I had thought it would be a good idea to order Chinese food. I made him wait for the end of a contraction before he left and told him to hurry. In retrospect, I should have taken this as a sign that I had no business eating Chinese food. When he returned, we moved down to the basement and I ate crab rangoon and tried to pay attention to Project Runway. It was not long before I started shaking and the TV annoyed me. I was nervous and told Joel that I wanted him to call Jess and the others and tell them to come over. Jess knew that I needed support, and she called me back once she was in the car and reminded me to breathe, that everything was okay, and that we’d be meeting our baby soon.

Lisa was the first to arrive. I had moved to the living room and was laboring on the birth ball with the Ben Harper station playing on Pandora in the background. I was so relieved to see her. She sat down behind me, rubbed my back, and offered encouragement. I think Kristina showed up next, and then Jess. Kristina, who I’d seen for almost every prenatal visit and developed a great relationship with, took my vitals. Everything looked fine, so she and Joel went upstairs and began filling the pool and getting everything set up. Jess sat on the couch and held my hand. My contractions were strong but had spaced out a little, which was a huge relief. Michelle arrived a bit later and I knew when I saw her that everything was okay. When she walked in the front door, I looked up and asked her how she had known (that my labor would start that day) and she just replied with a smile. I was so glad she was there—I’d felt a strong connection to her from the beginning and had really hoped she’d be on call when the time came.

After this, my memory gets a bit blurry. I know that Jess, Joel, and I moved upstairs so that I could lay in bed and try to rest between contractions. I remember that this position was uncomfortable. My hips hurt and it was hard to cope while laying down, but during one contraction I felt the baby move down, which was both cool and encouraging. I wasn’t getting any vaginal exams, so any sign of progress was incredibly important to me.

At some point, I decided I wanted to get in the shower. I sat on the birth ball under the water with the music playing (Feist, I think). I told Joel to go take a nap, and he did. Jess stayed with me. My contractions were very far apart and much more manageable sitting on the ball with the water spraying my back. I stayed there until there was no more hot water. We woke Joel up, and I sat on the ball in our room for awhile. Jess and Kristina both felt that I should get up and move around to bring my contractions closer together. It was just after 2am and I was exhausted, so I resisted but ultimately decided that they were right.

I walked around the kitchen and leaned on the counter during contractions, which were coming closer together- about 2 minutes apart. I was pretty grumpy about it and told Kristina that when she had her baby, I’d be there telling her to get up and move, too. Lisa and Michelle were resting in the living room when I made my way in there. I sat on the ball again while Joel held my hands and Jess rubbed my back. Michelle asked what was holding me back. I told her I didn’t know. We all bounced some ideas around, and it felt good to voice some concerns I had: fear of transition and pushing, mostly. Michelle told me she thought it was time for me to go get in the pool. I had been waiting for this, because I knew that when they told me to get in the water, it would mean I was getting close to the end.

Joel and I went upstairs and I got in the water. It felt great. The room was dark, the water was warm, and my belly cast and birthing necklaces were on the dresser next to the pool. I was in transition. It was so intense, and all I kept thinking was “Your contractions cannot be stronger than you, because they are you.” I knew it was time to have my baby, and I let go and let it happen. Transition took awhile. I’m fuzzy on the exact time, but I think I probably got in the water around 3:30or 4am. As my sounds got louder and more “growly,” everyone made their way into the room. Jess called my mom around 5:30am and asked her to come so that she’d be there when the girls woke up. I think she arrived at 6am, which was lucky because Raia woke up a few minutes later. Around the same time, I started pushing. It felt strange because my bag of water was still intact, but Michelle told me it was okay. They could see the bag of water bulging after a few minutes.

As I was pushing, Kristina monitored the baby’s heart rate and it was too low…far too low. I got on my left side, then my hands and knees…still too low. I was terrified. A million thoughts ran through my head: I need to get this baby out, even if they call 911 it will be too late, maybe a home birth was a bad idea. I pushed with every ounce of strength I had. I didn’t understand why it was so difficult and why it was taking so long. Finally her heart rate stabilized and she began crowning. Jess yelled to my mom to bring the girls in. A few pushes later, the baby’s head was out. I relaxed, thinking that the shoulders would be easy, but I was wrong. It took a lot of effort on my part and Kristina’s help to get them out. (Poor Kristina was basically in the pool with me and soaking wet.) I reached down to catch my baby. I pulled her up onto my chest and cried with relief when I saw that she was alert and breathing. I rubbed her back and spoke to her until she cried. Since we didn’t know what we were having, everyone was anxiously waiting for me to announce the sex. I held her up and yelled, “It’s another girl!” Someone asked what her name was. Joel and I looked at each other and agreed that she was Nola Claire.

My placenta detached but was not coming out, and I began bleeding heavily. They moved me from the pool to my bed. I just remember seeing blood everywhere and thinking “Oh god, this was my biggest fear and it’s happening.” I finally delivered the placenta after a shot of Pitocin, but there were some membranes that Michelle and Kristina needed to remove manually. I was bleeding a lot and I was scared, even after they got it under control. Michelle gave me some Methergene to help with the bleeding and to make sure that any membranes still in my uterus would find their way out. Throughout this ordeal, I held and nursed Nola and looked to Lisa and Jess for support. Aislinn and Raia were taken out of the room so that they wouldn’t see all the blood. After I was cleaned up, my mom and the girls came back and watched as Nola was weighed. None of us could believe it when Michelle announced that she was 10lbs 10oz and 21.5 inches! (No wonder pushing her out was so difficult.)

After everyone else left, Michelle stayed with us to make sure that I was okay, physically and emotionally. I was exhausted, shaken up, and weak, and I felt much better knowing that she was nearby. My mom took the girls back to her house so that I could rest. After Michelle left, Joel, Nola, and I laid in bed together all day. It was wonderful just holding her and loving her after such a long wait and a difficult labor.

Over the next two weeks, I made a very slow recovery. Though I only had a small first degree tear (no stitches), I did injure my pubic bone and needed physical therapy, plus I was physically and emotionally drained. Luckily, Joel was home with us for several weeks, both of our moms helped out, and doula friends delivered meals.

The birth was more difficult than I’d imagined it would be and it had its scary moments, but being at home, surrounded by people who loved and believed in me, was such a gift. I was so proud of myself for allowing labor to being on its own, for following my body’s natural cues, and for pushing out such a large baby. My big, sweet Nola was worth it."

Nola is a joy. She is calm, sweet, and incredibly loved by all of us. We are so blessed! Here are some pictures from the blessingway, my maternity shoot, and the birth. Please check out Lisa's website at http://www.agroterraphotography.com if you're looking for a great photographer.